


broken without you - sesoo fanfic

by mashihosdad



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-01 03:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18327611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mashihosdad/pseuds/mashihosdad
Summary: "He had to remember that the pretty boy that he adored so much was simply a business ordeal, and he had to remember not to develop any sort of feelings for the one who had stolen his heart already"





	1. prologue

Those eyes. It was something about those eyes. They weren't anything special to the standard person but those eyes held the whole world. They held his whole world. Of course, he knew that if his smaller 'friend' would find out about his obsession with his dark eyes-he would feel himself entering a state of discomfort, but Sehun just couldn't help but stare when he thought the older wasn't looking. His own eyes drifted over the bottom of the boy's lids, focusing his attention at each individual, eyelash, hidden perfectly by the pretty coloured skin tone only kyungsoo possessed; only stopping when a slight movement caught his eye from the corner of the room. The sight that filled his view next made him frown, it made him remember why Kyungsoo was really there. His manager, Yixing.

 

He had to remember that the pretty boy that he adored so much was simply a business ordeal, and he had to remember not to develop any sort of feelings for the one whom had stolen his heart already.

 

It embarrassed Sehun to admit to himself that he had simply paid for Kyungsoos company. It embarrassed him to admit that this 'friend' of his, was just a poor boy out to make some money. And Sehun was the dumb fool who would pay for such a service.

 

It was almost weeks ago now, when he had finally given in to the loneliness. The ad that stood out to him every week in the left corner of page 2 of the newspaper had been drilling into his brain since he first saw it. He thought it pathetic to have to pay for a friend, if he were to spend money on a service surely he would buy something much more interesting than a bit of company. But he thought wrong. Rather than spending thousands on extravagant services like a man as rich as him should be doing, he slipped a few hundred into the same brown envelope every week; and the next day he found himself in the familiar office belonging to kyungsoo.  
He liked to lose himself there. Kyungsoo was a guilty pleasure. A guilty pleasure whom he would never share with anyone. But kyungsoo, despite not being a real companion, was all that kept the man going. And as soon as he arrived back to his overly large home everyday, he just wished he were back in that dingy office, watching the cute smiles that escaped kyungsoos lips everytime sehun talked to him.

 

It would be silly to believe that the male felt the same way as him, because as he stood up, fumbling for his long black trench coat, his hands shaking ever so slightly, his jaw clenched- he saw the illusion fade in front of his eyes. Kyungsoos cute, fake smiles left his face, and his face lit up with real joy as he spotted the envelope placed before him, a little more more full than usual.

 

At this sight sehun stormed out, the door slamming hard behind him, almost with the intent of pulling it from its hinges. The thought of anyone else talking to 'his friend', anyone else using 'his' services, forcing his fists to clench, and a string of curses to fall from his tightly shut lips. This was a common feeling too. The jealously that struck him hard everytime he was reminded that others knew the real kyungsoo. Everytime he realised that kyungsoo wasn't just his. It was like reopening a wound over and over. If not for his high social status, sehun would be fully ready to take the boy, and make him his in whatever way possible, legally or illegally. But without his perfect image and the constant income of money, he couldn't afford to see him in the first place.


	2. chapter one

It was late. But Sehun was far from sleep. His longing was too strong for him to even consider it. Few times had he picked up his phone, attempting to call Yixing. But to no avail. He knew it was useless, but he just couldn't stop. All he needed was Yixing to pick up. All he needed was to bribe Yixing with more money than he could say no to. And then he would know where to go. His longing would be over. He didn't need sexual favours from the boy with the soft skin and the warm eyes. He didn't need anything that anyone more than friends would do. He just had an eternal longing to hold kyungsoo close to his heart. To feel Kyungsoos heart beat in time with his. And he couldn't let himself stop until he felt this.

Sehun would blame the abandonment he felt throughout his childhood for this if he believed it to be a problem. But it wasn't a problem, because they could be solved. And the only way to solve this longing was for his wishes to come true. To feel the boys tanned skin against his own, to be able to look into the boy's eyes and see real happiness- real joy- all caused by him.So he tried again, and again. He tried until the ringing of Yixings phone woke him from his peaceful slumber, until Yixing answered.The sleepy drawl on the other end of the line was hard to make out at first, but the voice suddenly became much more awake when sehun mentioned money. He was ready to offer thousands simply for the boy's address. And as soon as he had gained the information he had been looking for so desperately, he rose from his bed, threw on some comfortable and discreet clothes and then the same black trench coat over the top.

It was cold outside, so cold that the man struggled to lock his own door, but as he felt the cold air on his skin, it was only refreshing. Almost as refreshing as the thought that he would soon be face to face with the boy he felt so much for. The echoing sound of the key turning in the metal lock, the only sound for miles.If it weren't 4am, sehun would have called a cab, gotten to the place quicker, but he almost thanked the fact that he had to walk there, he thanked the fact that he had time to compose himself, ready to see his friend once more.As the house drew closer, his heart beat faster. The street seemingly endless, that small red door he was focusing on seeming miles away until he was positioned right in front of it.Nervously, he saw his hand reach out of its own accord, knocking gently on the door. Hearing no noise from inside, he knocked harder and rung the bell, inhaling a deep, frigid breath at the sound of movement, and footsteps getting closer, and closer. He tensed up, holding his breath, awaiting the boy's pretty face. Awaiting a joyful greeting. But all he heard was a soft "who are you?", coming from a voice that definitely wasn't Kyungsoos. Before him was a short pretty brunette. 

Surely kyungsoo couldn't have a female in his life. Surely- he had gotten the wrong address. "Kyungsoo." Sehun simply spoke, not addressing the females question at all. "I'm looking for kyungsoo".As the last words left his lips, he spotted the boy he was looking for, holding his breath to keep his tears in, blinking fast. He almost looked tall compared to this girl. His small fingers resting on her waist, holding her protectively. Now he knew why kyungsoo had never wanted to be close. Now there was another obstacle in his way. But that couldn't stop him. Nothing could.

Without permission, Sehun entered the house, frowning at the state it was in, cursing under his breath- upset that a man so perfect had to live in a place as derelict as he did. He took a seat on the couples sofa, again, without even speaking a word to them, then patting the worn seat beside him. "I want to talk to kyungsoo". His voice was hard and emotionless, almost trying to scare the woman away. "Without you." He then nodded to the female, who surprised- pulled away from Kyungsoos grip and went off to another room, one he assumed was their shared bedroom, sehuns entire body relaxing. "Kyungsoo!" He commanded again, beckoning him over.With a small nod, and an angry glare, the boy followed his orders, taking a seat beside the younger man, unable to let himself relax- feeling at threat from his usual customer.His mouth opened, words beginning to fall from his lips, but all meaning was lost as sehun slipped an arm around Kyungsoos waist, letting his fingers dance along the soft skin of his torso and pressed his own lips against the boy's without any warning, aware of the struggling, but not stopping- not able to stop. Kyungsoos lips were just as perfect as he had imagined. Not too harsh-not too soft. Not too big- not too small. They were perfect, and they fit perfectly against his own.As he pulled away, his cheeks red, and the biggest smile he had had on his face in years, kyungsoo jumped up, pointing to the door, blinking fast- sehun unsure if his expression was one of anger or fear. But sehun couldn't care less. Kyungsoo had given sehun what he wanted. So sehun did the same, rising from his position, and leaving the house- the whole walk home a happy blur. High from the memory of his happiest moment. Suddenly much more excited for his session the next day.


	3. chapter two

10 minutes......9 minutes....The time was almost up, and Sehun was happy about it. Too happy about it. He may have only been a few steps from the building that his favorite 'friend' resided in, yet he proceeded to pace back and forth along the entrance way, contemplating entering earlier than usual-but deciding against it. There was something nerve wracking about seeing those soft lips that had been all over Sehuns the night before, and the tall male was afraid he wouldn't be able to pay attention to anything else.

 

At first, Sehun was afraid that Kyungsoo would no longer provide his services, given the previous nights cicumstances. However, as he arrived to the familiar building earlier, he had witnessed Kyungsoos rusting, navy car pull up into the tiny parking lot- it just big enough to fit in, almost as if the spot had been built for him. Just as kyungsoo was built for him.

 

That car had a lot in common with Kyungsoo: small, unoticable, something that noone would take a second glance at- yet beautiful, unique, eye catching if you spared seconds to look at it. That was what made Sehun love it almost as much as he loved kyungsoo. But nothing could compare to how the small boy made him feel, how fast he forced his heart to beat, the butterflies that would fly around his stomach with every encounter. It wasn't even as if Kyungsoo did anything special, he just was special. Special like a family heirloom-precious almost.

 

Sehun couldn't wait any longer, he was usually a patient man, but looking at his watch and seeing that he was now only 3 minutes early pushed him to walk into the dark hallway of the building he had been outside for maybe half an hour, now. On a standard day, he would worry about his image- seeing a business man pacing back and forth around a dodgy block of flats could raise some suspicion. But it was Kyungsoo. And Kyungsoo was all that mattered. Screw his money, screw his reputation. That man was his everything and at this point, he couldn't hide it. If anyone asked, he was willing to tell. His secrets were no longer secrets, as long as he had Kyungsoo at his side.

 

Walking up the many flights of stairs felt like a treck, the elevator apparently broken again- the landlord too cheap to fix it. But this could be Mt Everest and Sehun would still try. No, he would suceed. The prize at the top would be worth more than anything else he could ever want. Speaking of the prize, the door now in front of him held it inside. His steps were short and small, yet he managed to get there within a few seconds, opening the door and putting on an enormous smile.

 

Kyungsoo looked more stunning than usual. His eyes were wider, looking directly into Sehuns. The simple action filled the taller man with a familiar happy feeling, the same he had felt the last night. He spoke, in what was supposed to be a confident tone "Hello Kyungsoo", and took his usual seat. To his joy, he didn't see Yixing around here like he previously had been, wondering if he had chosen to give the two some space. "Where is your manager?" Sehun spoke again, despite the boys lack of reply-trying to make that same eye contact again, but struggling, noticing Kyungsoos afraid look. Reaching out to take his hand over the desk, comforting him, forced Kyungsoos first action out of him. But Sehun had never expected him to jerk his hand away, gasping. Sehun couldn't be that bad. Could he?


	4. chapter three

"no." was the boys only reply, Sehun unsure if he were answering his question, or telling him to stop- but one thing was for certain. Kyungsoo didn't want him there. "i-is something wrong, Kyungsoo?" Sehun then spoke in a hopefully calm, comforting, almost loving tone- shocking himself when he stuttered, never having experienced that in memory. He knew his question was simple, and he already knew the answer, however he needed to seem as if he cared. Which he did. Way too much.

 

Sehun blinked as he saw the first tear roll down Kyungsoos face, trying to pass it off as a bit of dust in his eye. But it wasn't, it was there, accompanied by many more as the boy started to visibly cry, not trying to hold back. This was the first time when Sehun didn't know what to do. He was frozen in his seat, as if all the weight in the world was holding him down, desperate to comfort Kyungsoo, but knowing that it would most probably make things worse. It was obvious the boy was in agony, and Sehun hated it. He hated it.

 

However, before he could even try and ask, Kyungsoo answered. "She left me." Is all he could force out between his sobs. "She saw us and left me". At these words, Sehun was conflicted. He was overjoyed that there was one less obstacle, but seeing Kyungsoo this hurt- it made him want to find the girl himself and force her to be with him once more. He knew he should have apologised, but he couldn't find it in himself to do so. His pride wouldn't let him apologise for something that was so amazing to him, despite the agonising consquences.

 

Reaching out once more, Sehun took the boys hand, the only one left on the desk. But not for his sake, this time for Kyungsoos. Running his big thumb across the soft palm of Kyungsoos hand, he relaxed a little, hoping that the other would do the same. As he heard the sobbing subside ever so slightly, he knew it had worked, thanking his intuition and whatever higher power there may be. Not that he believed anything more surreal than Kyungsoo could possibly exist. 

To his surprise, Kyungsoo added his other hand to the hard surface of the desk, almost as if he were gesturing for Sehun to take that one in his hands too, desperate for comfort. Happy to oblige, Sehun did just that, rubbing both hands to a gentle rhythm, his whole focus on making the boy feel safe- not noticing Kyungsoos gentle gaze at him until seconds later. In those few seconds, he contemplated his much needed apology, meeting the smallers eye contact and stuttering out a three simple words, somewhat mad that his voice had shown his nerves once more. "Im so s...sorry" He mumbled. " Im so sorry Kyungsoo"


	5. chapter four

For the majority of the next ten minutes, silence took over- the only audible sounds being Kyungsoos soft sniffles, the barely-capable air conditioning, and the constant tapping of Sehuns left foot. The first to speak was again, Kyungsoo, his slightly raspy, yet still admirable voice cutting through the thick silence surrounding the two. It wasn't an awkward silence by any means- but it certainly wasn't enjoyable. "I have nowhere to live." Sehun heard the simple, stark statement fall from the others lips, savouring his words, and clenching his fists. He almost felt- guilty? Yet, the place Kyungsoo was living in wasn't much to miss. And Sehun knew he could improve the boys living situation without much difficulty. So he nodded, taking a few hundred out of his pocket, and placing the crisp clean notes on the table between them both, now only holding onto one of his hands.

"How about this?" Sehun swallowed before he could continue speaking, not sure how much Kyungsoo would enjoy the offer he was about to make. It would seem an incredible offer to any onlookers, yet he knew the boy wouldn't choose it if he didn't have to. "I pay you the wage you would recieve from your day job, and you work full time for me- living with me too. You will get privacy and your own space, don't worry about that. And i will provide you with anything you could possibly need." He nodded shortly afterwards, to indicate that he had finished speaking, finding himself biting at his lip as he saw a conflicted look painted onto the pretty boys face. Soon to be his pretty boy, he hoped. 

As he witnessed Kyungsoo nod, even though it slightly hesitant, he let out the breath he had been holding, his exhale of relief audible to the both of them. "Can we go now?" The boys next words hung in the air for a few seconds, before gaining a nod from Sehun himself too. Hearing his pretty boy use the term "we" instead of "I" made his heart beat in his chest, despite the boring implications of the word. But Sehun recognised that they were a 'we' now, and he was sure that Kyungsoo finally did too. 

Rising from the hard chair, Sehun wandered over to Kyungsoos side of the desk, picking up a few papers from the floor and stacking them neatly, slightly disgusted by the unclean nature of the place that he was in. He then reached up for the coat positioned on a hook by the door, recognising it as Kyungsoos due to the small size, passing it to the boy in question, and leant down to gather both his and the boys bag, holding both handles in his left hand. As Kyungsoo stood up from his seat, he walked directly to the taller mans side, only leaving inches between them, and forced a smile onto his face, matched by Sehuns. Sehun then reached out, taking the boys hand in his own-as if he were a child, and he needed to be kept at his side. And to his shock- there was no resistance from the older either, their hands resting comfortingly against one anothers. He loved the smooth, now familiar skin of his palm, and the action relaxed him even more as they left the office for good. Both never wanting to turn back.


End file.
